Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
