My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
