My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
