Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
