Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
