apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
