Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
