you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
