we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
