Kiss
Puke
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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