I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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