We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
