i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
