It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
