If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize