oh fat girl friday strikes again...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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