But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
