y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I will die if light touches me.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
