11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
