Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
