tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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