haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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