Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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