It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
