my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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