and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
