Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
