I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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