you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
