i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
