I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
