So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
