I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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