glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
