There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
