ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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