i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
