My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
