I'm jealous of your bromance
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
