I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
