You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
