We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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