you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
