you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
whose ass print is on the piano?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I am one with the molecules
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
