so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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