sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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