If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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