i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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