She went from zero to smokin in five shots
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I just want nice things and good sex
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
