Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
