At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
FUCK WHALES
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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