So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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